About a year ago, Leland Ayala-Doliente, 22, and Holland Sward, 23, made what we can only hope was the dumbest mistake of their short lives thus far. The pair was driving from Nevada to Montana carrying more than 20 pounds of weed. They chose to test their wares and soon became so paranoid that as they approached the Nevada-Idaho border, they decided to call the cops. On themselves.
“Hi, uh, we’re the two dumbasses that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border, and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons, and I’d just like for you guys to end it,” a flustered Ayala-Doliente told the confused 911 dispatcher.
“You got caught doing… what?” the dispatcher asked.
“Ah… Ok,” Ayala-Doliente continued. “Um… We kind of got spooked here trying to bring some stuff across your Idaho border. And, yeah. A bunch of your buddies driving around in a bunch of civilian cars not wanting to pick us up. I don’t know what’s the deal. I was just wondering if you could help us out and just end it.”
Ayala-Doliente went on to explain that all the pair had on them was the weed, some munchies, and a pet dog before explaining, “We tried walking away from the car a couple times and that didn’t work. We tried waving them down and that didn’t work, so I don’t know what’s going on here.”
Can't you just see these dummies trying to flag down the minivan headed out on a nice family road trip?
The recorded call (below) went viral on YouTube, inspiring countless comments along the lines of “Littering andddd?” and prompting people to tag “the stupidest person you’ve ever talked to.”
Hey, I mean, we’ve all had our little bouts of stoned paranoia. I distinctly recall an episode in high school when my friends and I were 100% certain the mailman was onto us. But this is just too much — especially given the punishment.
While Sward only received 30 days in jail for “cooperating” (aka turning himself in), Ayala-Doliente tested positive for cocaine and oxycodone in addition to the obvious positive for weed and received one-and-a-half to eight years in prison.
So next time you’re super high and are certain the cops are chasing you, the mailman is following you, or that baby just knows you’re high, I’d take a chance that it's all in your head. (Except for the baby, it definitely knows you're high.)