We millennials have a lot going for us, in the sense that it has never been easier to get stoned, and it has never been easier to get laid. In fact, you can actually download an app that will tell you what strains are perfect for sex (and where to buy them) and then another app (or 50) that will help you find sex. In the words of one of our most influential cultural icons, “What a time to be alive!”
The downside to this, unfortunately, is that for a lot of millennials, sex can be awkward and generally not pleasurable, at least at first. Oftentimes there is a fear of being judged for your fetishes (how do you feel about My Little Pony?), a feeling of inadequacy (I swear this has never happened before!), or body insecurities (so you’re going to leave the light on?!).
Social media exacerbates these fears, and the term “viral” evokes an entirely different sexual fear these days than it did for our parents. Your poor performance or just plain dirty deeds can be put on blast for the world to see instantaneously, and we all know full well that they will live on in internet infamy forever, which leads most of us to seek out substance comfort.
In fact, according to a University of Illinois survey, 65% of people reported alcohol or drugs being involved in their most recent sexual encounter. On top of that, 49% of men and 38% of women reported that having sex was a direct result of their drinking.
What’s interesting is that with marijuana becoming not only more socially acceptable, but also downright legal in a large part of the country, many of us are turning to weed instead of alcohol to enhance or facilitate our sexual experiences.
Forty-eight percent of Americans admit to having used marijuana at least once in their life, which is rapidly catching up to the 67% of Americans that admit to enjoying an alcoholic beverage bare minimum every once in a while, which got me thinking: Pot and booze are clearly both being consumed. Both make people horny. Which is the better option when it comes to making the most out of your sexual experience?
Alcohol pro: If it’s terrible, you have an obvious excuse. (And let’s be honest, if your sex life is anything like mine, 60% of the time this happens all of the time).
Weed pro: If it’s mind-blowing, you can take all of the credit, not to mention you’re going to remember every part of it. We all know dealing with the bad times makes you want to cherish those good times even more, which includes remembering who they were with!
Weed pro: By both reading posts on the internet and referencing numerous girl talks I’ve had throughout my life, weed makes ladies feel downright sexy. It allows us to lower our inhibitions, try new things, and feel good about our bodies without the feeling of post-party depression (PPD) or judgment the next day.
Weed pro: On a similar level, stoned sex is not sloppy like drunk sex is. Odds are in your favor that you will not discharge unwanted bodily fluids at any inappropriate times. You know what I mean.
Alcohol pro: Leads to more one-night stands. Is this really a pro? To some, I guess.
Alcohol pro: On the same token, it allows for a slightly more social sex life (see: one night stands).
Weed pro: Strains like Sexxpot exist that are specifically engineered to enhance your sexual experience. Not to mention products like Foria’s THC infused lubricant.
Weed pro: You are generally self-aware enough to ensure you are practicing safe sex.
Weed con: You may have to share your post-coital bowl with your partner, but that can also lead to another layer of intimacy, so I guess this is a wash.
Alcohol con: That whole consent thing. I don’t want to bring anyone down with a serious note, but it is worth mentioning.
Weed pro: Smoking reefer often leads to a sense of slowed time, so length of orgasm could seem much longer than it actually is.
Alcohol con: Speaking of orgasms, at least you can have one stoned! Alcohol dulls nerve endings making orgasms of both male and female nature something of a holy grail. Tough blow, booze.
Annnnd the winner is, by technical knockout…… WEED! I could go on for days, but I think it’s pretty obvious. More often than not, the best sexual experiences are the stoned sexual experiences. All the fun, none of the stress — not to mention the hangover.